---
title: "Episode #258 – Badass: Building Emotional Intelligence with Dr. Shyamala Kiru"
entity: "blog"
canonical_url: "https://www.meghanwalker.com/blog/episode-258"
markdown_url: "https://www.meghanwalker.com/llms/blog/episode-258"
lastmod: "2022-02-01T14:05:00.000Z"
---

Do you seek the validation of others before doing what you want?

Dr. Shyamala Kiru is a therapist turned relationship and leadership coach who spends her days teaching the art of emotional intelligence.

She believes that emotional intelligence is the key to unlocking success on a whole new level, and today Shyamala is here to teach us just that!

I am thrilled to share this incredible conversation with Shyamala, where we discussed self-authorization, boundaries, and taking responsibility.

She shares her top tips for improving your relationship with the most important person in your life: yourself

This episode will teach you how to build trust with yourself, and I promise you that self-trust will make life so much easier!

Key Takeaways:

[1:05] About today’s episode.

[2:11] Welcoming Shyamala Kiru to the podcast!

[2:48] Who Shyamala is and what she does.

[4:26] The definition of emotional intelligence.

[6:39] Why many women struggle to put boundaries into their lives.

[8:10] Do we socialize girls differently than boys?

[9:21] How to compassionately and confidently set boundaries.

[13:42] Self-authorization.

[17:16] Trusting yourself is so important.

[18:32] Taking responsibility.

[21:03] The relationship between self-authorization and a need for approval.

[22:17] Gaining courage.

[24:04] How you can teach your children self-authorization.

[27:21] Breaking down imposter syndrome.

[31:43] How to handle anxiety around getting out of your comfort zone.

[35:05] Managing the people who aren’t comfortable with your success.

[38:59] Shyamala’s “metrics of impact.”

[14:17] Where to find more of Shyamala.

[41:50] Reflections from today’s episode.

Connect with my Guest:

Website: [ShyamalaKiru.com](https://shyamalakiru.com/)

Social Media: Instagram [@dr.shyamalakiru](https://www.instagram.com/dr.shyamalakiru/)

[Confessions of an Ex-Therapist podcast](https://open.spotify.com/show/2qDsJwBDT5wVH5CJuGhY5C)

[Virtual Launch Party + Masterclass: The Emotionally Intelligent Woman](https://pages.shyamalakiru.com/the-emotionally-intelligent-woman/)

Tweetable:

Emotional mastery is the ability to remain calm and confident, regardless of external circumstances.

-Shyamala Kiru

I think one of the biggest reasons women struggle so much with decision-making is because we don’t actually know how to make decisions that align with our goals because we’ve been raised to make decisions that accommodate others.

-Shyamala Kiru

I often define confidence as a deep sense of trust in yourself.

-Shyamala Kiru

I’ve learned that imposter syndrome doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can totally feel it and say, awesome. This is just an indication that I am consistently playing a bigger game.

-Meghan Walker